Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart... Jeremiah 1:5

Wednesday, October 27, 2010


I have found that patience is a vital key in life.  VITAL.  I don't care where we are or what we are doing having a three-year-old and a 16-month-old makes having patience necessary to make it from point A to point B.  But recently I discovered that, at least for me, having patience for those around me seems to come a little easier for me than for having patience for MYSELF. 
This couldn't have been more clear than last night.  In post number one I described how excited/nervous I was to start a blog.  This is something that I have been wanting to do for a very long time but had allowed the business of life, or perhaps the fear of putting my thoughts on paper to hold me back.  Thus, I was proud that I had even stepped out on the limb to share with you my heart.  But then last night I went in to try to figure out how this whole blogging thing worked.  How do I make it pretty?  How do I navigate this website?  How do I even get to post number TWO? 
I am not sure if it was the lateness of the evening or the end of a long day or perhaps it could have been the fact that Addisen tried to use EVERY excuse to not go to bed (I even heard her yell from the top of the steps, "Daddy, what are you wearing tomorrow?  Where are your clothes?") but for some reason this website could have been written in Italian, French, or any number of foreign languages I could not figure it out.  And with each passing minute; goodness, every passing SECOND I was getting more frustrated and angry with myself.  Strangest part of it all?  I had begun the day with confessing over myself that today I was going to be patient and gentle and kind with all those around me.  And you know what?  I succeeded all day.  I really was patient and gentle and kind all day to those around me.  Even the antics of Addisen didn't faze me in the doctors office-and I am not bragging at all b/c there have been many days where I have not given Addisen the benefit of the doubt or accepted the fact that three-year-olds and small rooms don't always work.  But for some reason this glass house that was my patience was breaking with every click of the mouse and every misspelled word.
Why is it so hard to sometimes allow yourself to have grace?  Why is it you think that everyone else deserves it but that you should figure everything out the very second that you start something.  Why is it that you think that you should be perfect at everything you start right when you start?  Isn't there a saying out there that says you can't walk before you crawl?
Needless to say I let my frustration build and build and finally gave up and I am not proud to admit it but even lashed out at Josh.  He, however, has this vast store of patience and just hugged me and told me to go to bed.  I have also found that sleep is a VITAL part of life and without it there is even less hope to have patience with those around you or yourself.
So, why am I sharing this story with you?  Because, I learned something last night.  It reiterated my claim of sleep but it also opened my eyes that grace and patience are not over just because my girls are put to sleep, or even when Josh falls asleep.  In fact I think that patience and grace are more vital when you have just your own thoughts to keep you company.  Those are the moments that you need to realize that you are LoVED.  That you are SPECIAL.  You have GIFTS and TALENTS and it doesn't matter that you don't get something the first time, or the second time, or even the millionth time- He still loves you.  And that there is always tomorrow and tomorrow His graces are new and you can try again.  And again.  And again if you need to.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

A New World

Writing.  It opens up worlds of adventure, of romance, of thought and inspiration.  Writing has been something that I have loved, something that at times I have hated, and at times have just been left a puddle of reflection at the end of a string of letters.  Letters, that seperated mean absoutely nothing; but together they can change a life.  Either of the reader but more often than not those letters change the life of the writer.

Here is a glimpse into my life.  A life that is full of hope, of promise, of goals and dreams.  I am entering with both feet a world of blogging to share my heart with those of you that care to read, with those that might need a smile, a laugh, or perhaps just a few minutes away from whatever it is you might be going through.
I am a mom of two very active girls.  I am a wife to a wonderful man that seems to never run out of patience. I am a daughter to two people that love life with a vengeance.  I am a sister to four siblings that truly help complete her life.  I am a friend to those that are willing to let her love them and love her in return.

I recently completed a book that tells you to dream big and dream often.  To get those goals out there and to keep them in front of you.  In the book the author talks about the power of words and the power of your dreams and goals to guide and direct your life.  So, perhaps this "blog" will give me an outlet to share my dreams and remind me to dream big and to keep those dreams and goals in front of me.

To be completely honest blogging is a huge stretch for my personality.  Sharing my opinions or even my heart in such a public forum is kind of intimidating.  I mean, what if you, the reader, don't like what I write?  What if you think my grammar is up there with that of an elementary student?  What if you don't like me?  And yet after this past month and finding a book that has opened my eyes to a whole other world I have decided that it is time for me to push beyond that fear.  So, to you, the reader, I don't entirely care if you don't like what I write.  I don't care if you think I have awful grammar.  As much as I want EVERYONE to like me I am nudging to the point that it doesn't matter.  Notice I didn't say I am there yet.  But I am getting there.  And perhaps you can be there with me as I journey to more confidence, to more dreams, and more goals.

So, I would like to thank you in advance for reading.  For allowing me to share some of my life with you.  In life my goal is to be as genuine and kind and open as I can. And that is what you can expect from me here.  I have never blogged before and am not entirely sure how it works so please have patience with me.  But my hope is that you can see that life is meant to be fun, life is meant to be shared, and life is most of all good.